Polaroid Pleasures

When I was young I had a Polaroid camera and I used it to take pictures of my girlfriend in her lingerie. Of course. She was Wife #1 and you can read all about her here.

Her successor (Wife #2, obviously) also encouraged me to take pictures, but without her lingerie and with the addition of all manner of interestingly-shaped objects. you can find out what she liked best here.

We were trailblazers, or so I thought. The technology was quite new and the results were rather blurry, but who cares when you’ve just invented DIY porn?

Except I hadn’t.

Here’s a thing.

The very first Polaroid camera to arrive in the UK was so secret it was brought here by the CIA and given to Mr Duncan Sandys, who was the Minister for Defence. He immediately took it to a private party where it was used to take pictures of himself and Douglas Fairbanks Jr engaging in a variety of sex acts with the Duchess of Argyll, including the famous blowjob picture in which she was naked save for a string of pearls and he was headless but naked, with Fairbanks masturbating in the background, presumably waiting his turn.

It’s human nature to enjoy depictions of the sex act and we shouldn’t be surprised to learn that was the first instinct of a man entrusted with such a new and powerful toy.

So when I was lucky enough to borrow the very first domestic VHS camera and recorder for a week, you may rest assured that I took it straight home and demonstrated it to Wife #3, who was happy to demonstrate how easily and deeply her enoprmous black dildo fitted inside her small but voracious young pussy – and the immediately overwhelming effect it had once it was in there. The resulting movie is a classic of its kind, even though I say so myself. You’ll find all the details here.

And while I was momentarily ahead of the curve, the porn industry wasn’t far behind, and the VHS cassette soon became a worldwide success because of it. And as professionals adopted it, so too did every amateur in the world. Probably more wife-swapping took place on in front of a VHS camera than on Polaroid.

These days it’s all on phones and everyone has a porno classic in their pocket. It’s human nature.

The New Normal

I discovered this week that the subject of women having sex with dogs has its own hashtag – dogpilling.

I discovered this week that the idea may only be slightly more widespread than the deed, and that lots of women are enjoying themselves in this way. Here’s how I found out:

I’ve written about this before a couple of times and always held that it’s a lot more common than people think. Now everybody thinks it, and we all know it’s common. It’s even been mentioned in The New Stateseman. How did that slip past me unnoticed?